Times are tough, and they’re just getting tougher. It’s cold, we’re all January broke and the economy isn’t doing so well. Neither is the job market.
But wait. What’s that? The sound of chickens squawking in the background? Yes, yes it is! Because despite how shitty everything is in the world, what could well be one of the best jobs on the planet is now looking for applicants.
Unless you’re a vegetarian or vegan. Then you probably wouldn’t want this job – because discount retailer B&M are looking for a Chicken Nugget Connoisseur, i.e. a food tester to try their range of frozen foods. Which means the lucky applicant will be able to eat chicken nuggets, fish fingers, fries, curries and even doner meat. And get paid for it.
Which could be very bad for your waistline, but the extra pounds you gain would be very much worth it. The retailer, best known for selling bargain tinned food and the like, will be selling a range of what it’s calling ‘fresh and frozen’ food treats in selected stores later this month.
Now that might sound like a contradiction, which is where this most coveted position will come in. And it’s literally just one position.
A spokesman for the retailer explained: “Next month we’ll be launching a brand new fresh and frozen food range in a selection of our stores nationwide.
“To help us ensure that the range is the best in the country we’re offering one lucky person the chance to taste test some of our range.”
Now, before you get too excited, we should say that you won’t get paid quite in the same way as a normal job. Rather, the lucky person who gets to gorge themselves on this frozen fare will receive monthly vouchers of £25 to spend on more products from the store.
Sure, it might just lead to some frozen food overkill, but somebody out there is going to want to do it. It just probably isn’t worth jacking your job in if you need the money, for while this will certainly pay in calories, you bank balance isn’t going to go up that much.
Still, if we didn’t have rent to pay, we’d be totally up for it! Here’s where you apply, and here are the job criteria to consider before you apply, direct from the B&M website:
Do you think you have relevant experience? – experience can include, but is not limited to:
- Getting the 20 share box of nuggets from McDonalds and keeping them all for yourself
- Being the first in the office kitchen whenever someone says there’s cake
- That time you tripped and fell at a buffet and saved the plate before yourself
- Going to an event or party because there is free food
- You value the importance of a fish finger sandwich in life
- You can conduct a power point presentation on the reasoning behind curly fries being nicer than chips