If you’re currently sat on the toilet while reading this, you might want to just go ahead and click off, OK? Still here? Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Because this is the tale of a man in southeast China who was rushed into hospital after his rectum fell out of his body.
According to the Daily Mail, the man had been sat on the toilet for over half an hour, while playing with his phone. Bad times.
After feeling a ball-shaped object protruding from his anus, the man called for help and was taken to hospital where surgeons had operate to remove it.
Dr Su Dan, who works in gastro-intestinal surgery at The Sixth Affiliated Hospital of Sun Yat-sen University told local media the man was diagnosed with a rectal prolapse, which happens when the lining of the rectum slides out of place and ends up outside the body.
Dr Su said: «The patient had rectal prolapse since he was four years old, the bulge was able to retract. But he did not treat the condition and the situation has got worse.» Bloody hell, you can say that again, Doc.
A CT scan was carried out on the patient and showed the spherical bulge sticking out from the guy’s anus. The lump is reported to have been 16cm in diameter and was removed via surgery.
De Su said the poor patient also suffered with bruising and cuts along his intestinal wall.
Thankfully, medics were able to remove the lump and the man is now said to be recovering in hospital.
The doctor said that although this particular patient suffered the prolapse at a young age, spending long periods of time on the toilet trying to poo can weaken the muscles in the pelvis.
They added that if you think this may have happened to you, the best thing to do is seek medical attention as soon as you can. That sort of thing seems like a given to me, but well, here we are — let that be a warning to you all.